OryCon's Writers' Workshop submissions open today! Here are your details and guidelines:

http://www.orycon.org/orycon34/index.php/events/writers-workshop

I spent last night fighting through a difficult chapter. I'm not quite done with it and in rereading it today, I think it'll work. Adjustments will come later. So far, so good. The hard part will come when the job drama picks us both up by the scruff of the neck (again) and starts slapping us around (again). I really don't need another two years of fiction writer's block.

I love my hedge trimmer. I finished a huge amount of front yard work this morning with a keen eye on changes and big cutbacks for the coming year. The future is uncertain and will remain that way until the end of June. After that, until the end of August. Then again, until the first of October because that's the kind of stress some employees are required to suck up.

I may be taking care of things by myself for a while, including looking for an office job, and while the hedge trimmer and I get along famously, a different, shorter, more compact variety of Barberry wouldn't require the time I may no longer have for it to look pretty. And by pretty, I mean so the trio doesn't grow as tall as the house. Ditto for unruly azaleas, burning bush, laurel, and the row of holly. But do I remove them all and just be done with them? Not unless I want to hand over my front yard to the unsupervised renter kids. There are reasons behind these prickly hedges.

Then again, if I can trim and shape all those plus get in a thorough clean up in five hours, maybe that's not so bad. But, could condo living be in my future? One without having to maintain the "grounds?" Quite possibly. In another, bigger city? Stranger things have happened. We're waiting to see what cards we're dealt.

Not feeling the writing so much today. Could be any reason, actually. Here's a current list of excuses running through my head:

- Mild headache. Damn the lack of caffeine.
- A neighbor is installing an elaborate pool in his teensy, tiny backyard alongside a full sized trampoline and towering play fort. Oh, the hammering!
- It's raining, still.
- The kitten is bouncing off the walls.
- More home drama. It's as if I don’t have a voice here sometimes.
- More job drama. It's as if none of us have a voice sometimes.
- A major plot revision on WIP needs to be made before I can move forward. Done.
- My keyboard (PC) keeps locking up for some unexplained reason requiring a restart.
- My other keyboard (Mac) keeps switching over to typing numbers for some unexplained reason requiring a restart. No, num lock is not on.
- Any number of household maintenance tasks need attending to.
- The Man dislikes what I'm working on. Nothing new there. I need to stop sharing.
- Self doubt rearing its ugly head.

As much as I think these are excuses not to write, these are the exact reasons for me to write.

- I can use the headache for a chapter in my WIP.
- I could put my big clunky headphones on to drown out the hammering.
- It'll be less rainy tomorrow.
- The kitten will be less bouncy in a few months.
- I'm convinced I can learn to write through home and job drama. I've been living with this level of stress for over two years. Time to get off the whiny truck and get back to my life.
- Keyboard/computer woes...save and save often. Get used to it.
- There's always going to be household tasks to do. That comes with having a house. Doh!
- And yeah, I need to stop sharing with The Man. He dislikes everything. This isn't fresh news. I've known this for a very, very long time.
- Self doubt? Oh, just stop it!

Today's been a big world of "NO" for the kitten and Newton. They have both learned to jump – onto the kitchen counter, the stove top (yikes!), and the narrow short wall that drops twenty-two feet down to the hard foyer floor.

A squirrel built a spring sleeping nest in a flower box hanging from our kitchen window. That began everything. The Christmas cactus I'd begun from shriveled leaves in January was sent crashing off the window sill, across the counter, and onto the floor.

Because Newton was up there pawing at the squirrel on the other side of the glass, the kitten had to do it too. The water bottle was brought downstairs where it had been used to keep the two from pacing the top of the narrow short wall, seemingly tempting each other to make the leap over the edge.

( Read more kitten antics plus photos )

Only a few more days of not hearing anything from her original owner and we'll officially put a name on this kitten. But you already knew we'd do that, didn't you...

Portland's OryCon 34 Writers’ Workshop (November 2-4, 2012) opens for manuscript submissions this coming Friday, May 25th and runs through Friday, August 24th.

This is a great opportunity to receive friendly but frank critiques of your work by professional authors in small group settings.

Standard manuscript-formatted submissions of SciFi, Speculative Fiction, Fantasy, or Horror short story or novel length excerpts are limited to 7500 words and require a cover letter of 300 words or less. Novel excerpts additionally require a synopsis of 500 words or less.

Electronic submissions are preferred.

Submission fees are $10.00 per manuscript. Writers must have an OryCon membership to attend.

E-mail the Writers’ Workshop Coordinator at ww @ orycon.org for fee mailing address and please visit OryCon's Writers’ Workshop guidelines page for more information and details at:

http://www.orycon.org/orycon34/index.php/events/writers-workshop

I have found the perfect product, the perfect writing motivator. Taskmaster Kitten! Before you begin throwing all your money at your screen, let me share what this astounding new gadget can do!

Imagine you, sitting at your computer, slaving away at your novel, clickity-clickity, hen-pecking those seemingly mandatory one million words in before you can call yourself a true novelist superstar. Eventually you tire, naturally, and your brain ceases to form ideas, your eyes blur, your fingers cramp. Burn out and fatigue sets in.

What ever in the world do you do?

You gently, quietly, remove your Taskmaster Kitten from atop your mouse and bring up a little entertainment. Yes, Mahjongg will work well. Superb! Shortly, everybody will be happy!



But stray too long from your task at hand and your Taskmaster Kitten comes to the rescue. Using highly specialized technology, Taskmaster Kitten awakens, senses your IQ level draining, and turns into a raving, howling maniac, paw poised over the keyboard escape button, threatening to shut it all down.

Don't let this tragedy happen to you. Order your Taskmaster Kitten today and see your productivity soar!



I shouldn't have been playing Mahjongg anyway.

Last night’s novel boot camp writing class began very late and ended shortly thereafter. The room had an odd vibe during the twenty minutes we met, all three of us remaining plus the teacher. Back in February, there were 24 of us. One long absentee reportedly sold a screenplay. A small group who kept to themselves from the start decided to self-publish their works as is and quit the class midway through. Two young guys got up and walked out amid much noise and complaint the first evening. Rumors were they started an online magazine, solicited serialized stories, and then folded before publication of the first issue. Back at class, almost every week another student went missing. Halfway through, so did our teacher.

( Read more whiny angst about writing class )

The class was a great study in human behavior. I’ve always enjoyed watching people, wondered what and why they do what they do. For as long as I can remember, I mentally made up character profiles of people I didn’t know but who had publicly exhibited a quirk or two. There was more than enough material to work with in class.

I’m looking forward to summer session, and to see who will be back. My brain, while really, really full at the moment with class and writing and thinking and M.S. related male self catheterization hygiene practices (OMG TMI) and kittens, needs stuff like this.

Thank you for all the interest in seeing the found kitten currently staying at our house (oh, I hear you way in the back, yes you, the loud one insisting that the kitten will shortly become our kitten and it will indeed be staying permanently at our house).

May I present our found kitten pics, because everyone knows if no pics are uploaded, kittens don't exist. The real question is, if no cat pics/videos were uploaded, would there still be an Internet?

Last week we were approved to adopt a female orange and white kitten in early June from a fostering program working with a local humane society. We're really excited about this and have been kitten-proofing our home.

Technically, our place is already kitten-proof, particularly since adopting 1 year old Newton in early April. Not much work was necessary. We've had pets of all ages all our lives and are well versed in the routine.

There's this saying. You know it: When it rains, it pours.

( Warning: Kitten tale ahead. Make with the Clicky if you dare. )

I'm not saying she gets to call the shots here. I'm working on steering the conversations toward a faster acceptance that we're not going to give the kitten back. I'm prepared to fight to keep it. And if all goes well, in three weeks another kitten joins the family. Two kittens at once, to grow up together. How sweet is that going to be?

We officially applied for consideration of what may be, if you listen to the pessimists, the only female orange kitten born in the Pacific Northwest. She’ll be ready June first. Meanwhile, Newton really wants a buddy and has taken to carrying toys around the house. With toy-stuffed, muffled meows. We have little doubt our application is at the bottom of a pile of forty thousand other eager and waiting families none of which could give that little girl the love and attention we could.

Now that that’s out of my system, onward.

ED: Application for kitten accepted! SqueEEEEEEEEE!

My car officially turned ten years old yesterday. Still sitting, covered, in the garage. Not a care was given. Onward more so.

Writing class last evening for the remaining students (three of us remain) devolved into reasoning of dragged feet and de-motivation. I’m the only one regularly turning in full homework assignments. Four weeks left (three if you discount Memorial Day weekend when it’s anyone’s guess at to who’s going to show up) before a short break and my summer session begins. Have I learned anything thus far? Somewhat, with a hesitant yes.

I figured the subject matter would block my writing today, similarly to what happens with any mental drama, but no. I’m up, feeling good, and my brain-meat is working. All that’s left is making a few character/plot connections and the WIP will once more, skip along merrily.

A few quick notes before leaving for writing class:

Writing is going well. A bit of stoppage at the moment while I figure out how two things and two people are related, but that'll come. Not worried.

Spent the last two weeks looking for a kitten or teenaged orange or orange and white female cat (no older than 10 months - and no calicos). Apparently, finding a female orange kitten is similar to finding a herd of unicorn. Having had female orange cats virtually all my adult life, I'm wary of everyone saying they are rare. Either way, I'm rather stunned that not a one seems to be available on the west coast from B.C. to Shasta, California. Just stunned.

With a month to spare, I have entire back and front yard areas cleaned and ready for summer weather. Sidewalks scrubbed, concrete pressure-washed, furniture set out, trees trimmed, pond clean, flowers blooming like mad.

Returned to good, clean eating habit after the naughtiness of con season. Just need to get back to running. When that happens, the writing thing will take off again, I'm certain. Remember kids, exercise frees your mind.